Most if not anyone will know this about me. I am a full time chef... I am insane enough to make this my life's work. Now cooking is a hard job (McDonalds IS NOT COOKING!) contrary to what the tube shows you... it's not clean, it's not calm and if there was a show about how professional kitchens worked it'd most likely be 68% bleeps from all the cursing going on.
Don't get me wrong, I love food... I love to cook, I am probably terribly bad at anything else I would attempt. I'm not here to bitch about my job. I'd like to bitch about the people who bitch when they go out to eat.
First off... did you know in England it's almost acceptable to throw people out of your place? Their ENTIRE PARTY! Now if I did that over here odds are we'd lose a lot of customers and we'd get bad mouthed to no end... which is why I have to sit there and listen to some slack-jawed idiot explain to me that his steak is to rare when he ordered it medium rare. Last time I checked there were standards for how to grill and prepare meat... I didn't spend 5 years learning how to do it or anything, what do I know, right?
You're the grill king, at home with your tiny little grill, witty apron, carelessly sipping a beer as you like those expensive cuts of meat blacken or you cut off all that fatty goodness... no, you sir... are the king. I'm sure you could handle the fifteen other steaks on the grill at the same time all going at different temperatures all the while more orders are coming in and having to plate it correctly... na, you can do a much better job than me.
Now I know most people don't make a fuss about when they go out to eat... but when you think it's your job to bitch about every little detail at a restaurant, than why the fuck would you go out to eat? Server's aren't your mortal enemy, they can actually be your friend and if you're extra nice... they'll be nice too. Trust me, there are some TERRIBLE servers... and I have worked with a lot... and then there are really goods. But you find gems every now and again, regardless... unless your server looks like a total idiot or is a complete asshole when they come to your table... don't be a fucking dick because you're having a bad day.
Also... don't ever piss your server off, why you may wonder? Sure you've probably got a better car, a nicer house, a better job... but remember, they're your link to the kitchen... and we're not so forgiving. Just remember, if you're dicking them over... we can get you back worse... a lot worse... And never make a server cry... you'll regret it. And in this cell phone, mega tool, PDA crazy world... it's fucking easy to calculate 20%. That is the bare minimum to tip... it's expected, it's what people live off of. If you can't tip, don't go out some place where it's required... Burger King and McDonalds have pretty quick service and you don't have to tip. And if the server really sucked, grit your teeth or just talk to the manager... some places even have little cards to fill out to let'em know how they're doing.
A lot of people don't know this... they see a fancy plate with little decorations and sauces cleverly put around. Now... some places give you a choice of what “sides” you want... personally, I don't believe in it. Plates come in BALANCE. Veg, starch, protein, etc... etc... carefully planned amounts of each and then intricately placed and arranged to be “wow” or “cute”.
The one exception that I make is food allergies. It's part of my job to ensure we don't kill you and I try my best not too. I understand them 100% and it's not like I could argue with you, I'm not that big of an asshole. So I don't have a problem taking that off the plate if it'll cause your face to swell up like a balloon and maybe the mashed potatoes aren't such a good idea because of the ungodly amount of butter and cream that go into them...
So really... if you're going out to eat. Don't fuck with my plate... if you have a question, ask your server, if they don't know it then ask a manger or ask for the chef... If you can't order correctly, we'll do it for you. And PLEASE. For god's sake... if you want to split a meal... hey, we're cool with it. I don't mind, simply ask for a second plate... don't ask us to cut anything in half... seriously... that's the last thing I want to do is to slam down a shitty plate with half a steak or half a rack of lamb... Just do it at your table. It may be called the service industry, but we aren't slaves!
Next time the asshole at table six asks for fries with the Friday night's Filet special or the pork special or what the fuck ever makes it special... I will have half a mind to come out and smack him across the face with the very piece of meat that I will serve to him!
3 comments:
I also like cooking, although not in a restaurant or anything quite as big as that. Even though it is a service industry, people should respect the fact that you are trying to be nice to them. I know that if someone came to my workplace and treated me like shit then i would not be very happy with them.
I worked in a kitchen for a bit, but in the end I had to stop because it involved too much standing, and even though I'm 16, I have a bad back. In the short time i was there (they wanted someone full time, didn't mind getting free labour out of me though, and they didn't mind telling me until after I'd worked for 100 hours without a break, which is illegal here) but i know the amount of work you chefs put in. I hate when people complain, but I usually tell them to shut up. such is the difference in our countries. I'm guessing you're american, with the whole 'tipping' thing, but here in New Zealand, we dont particularly care about other peoples opinions. nice blog, btw. I have my own, which I'll shamelessly self-promote now:
http://d-thunda.blogspot.com/
in there, I basically talk about whatever I want. I like your style. consider your blog bookmarked :)
I use to work in food service as a busboy. That may the least stressful job in the industry, but at least it means I have seen it all first hand. I understand just how picky some people can be and it makes be cringe. As a result it has made me a very un-picky eater and a big tipper.
Also I have learned that most of the time whenever somebody has a problem with something you did they typically have a "solution" to give you that is perfect for them. I think that voicing a concern is acceptable but complaining shows a lack of character.
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